I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving:
supportive family and friends back home; a wonderful host family and great
friends in other PCVs here; incredible opportunities to travel and see a part
of the world I would otherwise never visit; a renewed sense of perspective
gained through seeing how lucky I truly am; and a new understanding of my own
resilience, perseverance, and patience that I have gained in my 17 months here.
I have also found other things to be thankful for in my new
community, and I am making sure I keep them in mind as I continue to plan new
projects.
Well-established
infrastructure in my high school. I am applying for another library from
BFA, but this library journey will be different from my last one. My new school
has a library building with burglar bars on the door and windows, a door that
locks, a roof that doesn’t leak, and ample shelving. The school has a dedicated
librarian, who is also a debate coach and English teacher. The only thing
standing between this school and a functioning library is that they don’t have
books. Although my old library turned out to be sustainable (or so I’ve been
told by old friends), the amount of work that goes into building from the
ground up is enormous. I am so grateful to have motivated teachers, a
supportive and involved head teacher, and an existing structure in which to
create a library.
With this in mind, we are again fundraising for Books for
Africa. Please, please consider donating. This is a project that is really
important to me. I grew up loving to read, and I was lucky to have parents who
are both teachers and shared their passion for reading with me. Not everyone is
so lucky, and even those children here with supportive parents and teachers may
not have access to books to read. Please, donate:
Motivated teachers.
I cannot express enough how important it is to have people who are motivated to
work with you in a school or community. I had multiple projects fall apart in
the past because people were motivated enough to bring me an idea, but not
motivated enough to stick with me to its completion. In those cases, I let the
projects fail. Currently, I have 3 teachers that are in constant touch with me
to improve resources for the kids. One, Mr. Thwala, is the debate coach,
English teacher, and librarian I mentioned earlier. He has also expressed
interest in leading a BRO (Boys Reaching Out) club, which teaches young men how
to interact respectfully with young women. There’s Mrs. Gamedze, who is the
sponsor of my GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) club, which is a club that is
intended to build agency and empowerment in young women. Finally, I have Mr.
Mamba, who would like me to be more involved in volleyball, netball, and
basketball programs at the school (we’ll see how that goes). These teachers are
the ones calling and messaging me, setting up meetings, and keeping me on my
toes. The days of calling someone 6 times to set up a meeting that they end up
not showing up for seem to be over. Peace Corps doesn’t work if host country
nationals don’t take the lead, and I am finally feeling like I have a purpose
here.
The most wonderful
host family ever. In my old home, I had drunk men constantly on the
homestead, and I was also constantly being asked for money by a family
struggling with poverty and hunger. The little things take their toll, although
I didn’t realize it until I came here. I would trust my wonderful new family
with anything. When I’m sick, Make is beating down the door to check on me.
When I’m sad, she takes me by the hand and we watch a movie together. When I’m
happy, I can count on her to dance with me. The family is kind to animals,
practices positive discipline, and still maintains Swazi cultural traditions.
My siblings (1 sisi and 2 bobhuti) are wonderful and kind, and I know that they
wouldn’t ever take advantage of me. Coming home is like returning to a
sanctuary, and I love that this family goes out of their way to make it so.
A supportive
community and inner council. People in my community greet me, ask how I am,
and are always down for a conversation. I do not get harassed anymore in my
site. I do not get proposals or requests for money or constant stares. If I
were to be harassed, I trust that someone would jump to my aid instead of
encouraging the men by laughing. I am safe, and I like taking walks to wave to
my neighbors. My siSwati is improving because I interact more with people. My
inner council made their expectations clear to the community regarding how to
treat me, and the community listened. I no longer have to pep talk myself to
walk to school or put headphones and pretend to listen to music so that I will
be left alone. I’m much happier and I love being here.
A fresh start. So
much of my first year of service was stressful, unpleasant, unproductive, and
downright scary at times. I had little faith in Swaziland as a country and no
trust in Swazis as a people. The opportunity to start over has shown me a whole
new side to the country that I would never have expected. Just like in the US,
different communities have different attitudes and cultural norms within the
larger culture of society. Meeting new people has been a humbling, eye-opening
experience, and it has helped me to gain a better understanding of both
Swaziland and myself. I was too quick to judge a country and a people by the
actions of some members of a community, and my attitude and optimism suffered.
I am thankful for the opportunity of self-assessment this move has offered, and
I vow moving forward to not let the actions of the few define my opinion of the
many.
Growth and challenges.
Peace Corps is hard. Like, really hard. The opportunities for personal growth
and reflections that the challenges of PC present are too good not to take
advantage of. I have learned to be humble; I do not know everything, and I must
keep an open mind every single day to keep learning what I need to know. I have
learned that I am resilient; I have been through hell, and I never quit
(although I did think about it). I have learned to laugh at myself, which is
quite possibly the biggest gift I could have gotten. I used to be totally
unable to handle looking silly, and now I have to do it every day. My clothes
are funny, my accent is funny, and I cannot tell when people are serious or
messing with me, so I end up being the most gullible person in my village. I
gracelessly sweat in the summers and bundle up and shiver in the winters while
Swazis bear each with considerably more dignity. I still scream at spiders and
scorpions and snakes, which amuses everyone within earshot. I have to laugh,
because there is no other option. I’m going to look silly when I freak out in
the Target ice cream aisle or at all the options on the menu board at Panera. I
will look silly when I can’t handle snow anymore and I’m in a sweater in 80
degree summer heat. Life is about looking silly, and I am so grateful that I am
now able to embrace that.
My own opportunity.
It isn’t every person that has the means to walk away from her home country to
live somewhere else for 27 months without a salary. I have no children,
financial obligations, property, ailing parents, or any other challenges that
would have made service impossible. I am so lucky that I am free enough to do
this, and that my family and friends back home support me through every step of
this crazy, hard, emotional journey. My parents have called at least every
other week for the past 17 months. My friends call as often as they can. I get
care packages on a regular basis, and sometimes the shipping is more than half
my monthly allowance. I have a mentor who read so many personal statement, CV,
and statement of purpose drafts during a busy time of the school year. I am
supported. I am loved. I am so incredibly fortunate, and to not acknowledge and
embrace that would be a disservice to all the people who have raised me up over
the years. More than anything else, I am thankful for you and everything you do
for me. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Being on the home
stretch. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved the experiences that come with
being a PCV, but I am ready to begin looking forward. I know that the work I do
is important and is changing lives, but grassroots development work simply
isn’t my passion, and I’m ready to get into a career where I am living that
passion every day. I know that graduate school and a career in epidemiology
sounds boring to a lot of people, but if you ask anyone who knows me they’ll
tell you that I just light up when I think about it. I miss that feeling. For
17 months now, I have worked to the best of my ability to meet the needs of my
community, and I will continue to throw my whole heart into my projects for the
next 9 months. Right now, I don’t know what comes next. I have applied to
graduate school and I’m waiting to hear where I am accepted. I am also looking
at jobs both at home and abroad that would be more in my field as a backup
plan. Either way, I plan to enjoy my remaining time here while I’m preparing
for the next steps.
This Thanksgiving, I have so much to be thankful for, and
the best part of reflecting on all my blessings is realizing that the life I
led before wouldn’t have given me the lens through which I can see these
things. Swaziland and the Peace Corps have opened my eyes to a world in which I
have everything. There is no better gift than that.
